Good domestic help is an endangered species in Gurgaon, and the city's households are a battleground of fiercely protecting or stealing that perfect maid!

Yes, in Gurgaon, it's tough to find a maid who understands and suits all your needs. But once you find the perfect domestic help, it's even tougher to retain them because friends and neighbours want to get their hands on them. Employers will go to any extent to protect their maid from 'poachers' who might lure them with more pay or perks. Conversely, they'll also go to extremes to steal one. A comment in an online forum in Gurgaon summed up the fight - 'Stealing another woman's husband is rude, but to steal their maid is unforgivable'. Here's how Gurgaon women protect, or poach, their domestic goddesses.

How not to lose your maid to your friends

"I make sure my friends never meet my maid. If I host a kitty party, I send her out. A party is when you need your maid the most, but I don't want to take chances. I have her do all the preparation before my friends arrive, and then I send her to watch a movie. For her, it's kind of a reward, but for me, it is to make sure that my friends don't communicate with her and offer her more than what I pay her," says Ritu Singh, a homemaker in Sushant Lok Phase 1. And what if friends drop in unannounced? "I don't leave my maid alone. Even if she is serving them, I make sure I'm present. I don't allow her to answer questions from my friends, rather, I promptly answer on her behalf," she replies.

It may be complicated to deal with friends, but it's easy to shrug off strangers trying to be over-friendly with your maid, says Priyanka*. "I work in a bank and don't have much time to keep an eye on my maid - kaun usse baat karta hai, etc. But when I'm with her, I make sure no stranger approaches her. Once, we were at a mall, and a lady started talking to my maid. She was asking her about her salary and what work she does. I rushed over and asked the woman, 'what's your problem?'. I know I was rude, but I could see my maid getting influenced," she adds.

For Prarthana Verma, a homemaker in DLF Phase IV, her maid is indeed more precious than her husband. "I know my husband won't be able to find a wife like me, so I'm not insecure about him. But my maid can definitely find a better place. She has been working for us for 10 months, so she understands all my needs. I just can't let her go. It is next to impossible to find a maid and then adjust with her." So, Verma never allows her maid to go to any store in her locality alone. "A department store is where all the maids meet; their employers also meet other maids there. The store owner also keeps asking maids about their pay. They sometimes offer the maids work in their store, or at a neighbour's place who has asked them to find a maid. So, my maid is always accompanied by my five-year-old son, who'll tell me everything - who met her, who asked what. Or I accompany her."

How to poach a friend's maid

Despite your best efforts, maids do get stolen by persistent poachers. Suneeta Kumar*, a resident of Sushant Lok Phase 1, says, "I poached my friend's maid. Of course, after that, we are not as great friends as we used to be." How did she do it? Says Kumar, "I asked my friend to send her maid for an hour to help me, and discovered that she was very keen to learn new things, would keep herself clean and would prefer cleanliness around. I offered her work, but she said she can't work full time at two places. So, I gave her more attractive offers - more than four days off a month, a separate room, and a hike of `2,000." "I got my maid from my neighbours. I just made her realize she was working too much. I'd tell her, 'mere ghar itna kaam nahi hota'. Main jab bhi usse milti, yahi bolti - tujhse kitna kaam karwate hain, main toh aadhe kaam khud kar leti hoon. I asked her after a month if she was interested. She readily agreed! When she was leaving, my neighbours came and had an argument with me about how I could take away their maid. They made a proper scene," said Akanksha*, who stays at Sohna road.

For some maids, loyalty triumphs over lucrative offers

There will be some maids who won't be swayed by greener pastures. "My maid has got several offers of a bigger salary from my neighbours, but she didn't go. She even comes and tells me about offers made to her. I know it will be hard for her to leave us because we treat her like family. I know if I don't treat her well, she won't take proper care of my daughter. So, I make sure that I appreciate her work," says Shikha Nanda, office manager at Costa Coffee India.